One Healthcare Provider’s Reaction to The First Wave Documentary
Image by Dr. Jeffrey Levy who attended the New York Premiere of The First Wave
Watch the trailer of The First Wave.
Imagine yourself in a dark well. Then completely blindfolded. Then trying to understand an enemy attacking all humans, that does not discriminate between race, sex, age or experience. Now imagine hearing screams from people asking for help. People screaming "I can't breathe". You can hear them asking for help, and you want to help them, but you are in a dark abyss, like the bottom of a well, and water coming in from the top like a firehose. Every time you try to listen, try to help, try to reach out, and try to figure out the mystery of why they are screaming....you fail. Now the screams are silent. You can't even hear them breathe. You can only hear your own heart pounding. This was a new enemy. This was COVID-19.
I thought that 9/11 was one of the worst tragedies that NYC had to endure. I was wrong. The COVID-19 pandemic shattered that very belief. It rocked humanity's very core. It created dead silences. It created devastation. It created huge burials in NYC and around the world. It was ground zero, once again.
The shrieking screams, the utter dismay, the loss of life and the complete despair that occurred during the COVID-19 pandemic was highlighted in the movie "The First Wave". It brought back so many memories from being on the front lines as a physician.
It touched upon the very core of the human spirit trying to survive amid chaos. Sirens ringing, monitors buzzing, patients screaming, nurses yelling, the never-ending influx of patients into the E.R. and into the COVID-19 units - it was a harrowing and riveting experience to be on the front line, and to watch my colleagues in this movie go through the same unexpected experiences that I had gone through. I can relate to each and every moment. Feeling completely helpless as a physician is the worst feeling in the world.
The pandemic affected all people, but it affected the black community even more. The film highlights the despair of minorities dying from COVID-19 as well as the despair of the murder of George Floyd. We can hear George scream, "I can't breathe" as it is played on social media over and over. It is the very scream that our COVID patients were feeling, not being able to breathe as they were drowning with this virus. The next victim could be a doctor, nurse, police officer, mother, father, teacher, brother, sister, or colleague. The mass graves in NYC will never be forgotten.
Chaos again. Feeling there is no end to the pandemic and no end to racial injustice. It made me think about all the questions I had that remained unanswered. Where did this deadly virus come from? How many more lives are we going to lose before there is a treatment? Are any of my family members going to be affected? How many phone calls do I have to make telling a patient's family that their loved one is dead? How many more patients will we have to pronounce dead? Will we be able to make a vaccine? Will the vaccine be effective? Will there be variants to this virus? What are the long-term effects of the virus?
In medicine and in life, no matter how dark it is, the sun will always shine. A glimmer of hope will rise again. A voracious courage will rise again. A strong community and unity will rise again. Out of many, we will become one. One by one, we can help many. The time is now. We must keep fighting. We must go on, and we will. I have no doubt about that.
Reactions by Dr. Sophia Bhatia
About CoreWellness
CoreWellness is the first evidence-based, mobile-device-delivered wellness program that prepares healthcare students, trainees, and providers to be resilient in the face of the unique ongoing challenges in the healthcare field. The program includes the CoreWellness Index, a comprehensive wellbeing assessment that measures resilience, burnout, life satisfaction, and eight domains of wellbeing. Contact info@casenetwork.com.
